I suppose this is the obligatory “Introduction” post. Hence the title. I’m not good at introductions, for myself or anyone really. If I don’t know you and I’m meeting you for the first time, I assure you, it will be awkward. (Unless I’m drunk. Then it’s only awkward for you. Unless you’re drunk too… then it’s awkward for both of us again)

I know you’re not supposed to start a new paragraph when the previous one ends in parentheses… Actually, I don’t know if that is true or not but this is my blog and I get to make the rules. In fact, I kind of want adopt that thing they do with Morse Code and say “stop” at the end of every sentence. Stop.

Do I have to say “stop” after I’ve said “stop”? Stop. What if the sentence naturally ends with the word “stop”? Stop. Do I say “blah blah blah stop. Stop”? What about after all of these questions? Stop. Ugh. Fuck it. …Stop.

Let’s start over.

Hi. My name is Chelsea. I’m 30-somthing years old (Just for the record, I DO know how old I am. I’ve chosen that phrasing for it’s timeless nature… Until I’m 40-something) I always feel like adding something cliché at this point but I will spare you. There really isn’t much to me except that I am distractible and awkward, and have somewhat atypical interests (at least that is what I’m told… Actually, I’m told that I’m weird and then they go on about serial killers and other such nonsense) and I am often excruciatingly depressed, except for when I’m not depressed. Then I am just the silliest goose. Until I remember all of my flaws. Then down we go again. I may or may not be Bipolar. I say maybe not because I have other completely reasonable explanations for my disdain of all existence. Like maybe I’m just a bitch. Or stupid. And overly aware of my stupidity and bitchiness. I forgot what this was about.

Right. Introducing myself. I mean, I think kind of summed it up. Besides, I’ve got to leave SOMETHING for the imagination. Until next time. Stop.